Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Paranoia and preoccupation
Sometimes you find yourself in a paranoid condition or a self-preoccupied condition in your zazen. It can last for an entire sesshin, or persist over several sesshins. But if you persevere, it will fade at last and you can get back to your zazen. I had a severe misunderstand with my mother just before I did my first sesshins, more than 60 years ago. For throse first three sesshins I couldn’t do zazen. My relentless theme was MY DAMN MOTHER. I persevered, and I finally count my breaths. Please persevere!